1. I see that America has declared war on Iceland. Apparently they are
accusing them of harbouring a "weapon of ash eruption".

2. It was the
last wish of the Icelandic economy that its ashes be spread over
Europe.

3. Iceland goes bankrupt, then it manages to set itself on fire.
This has insurance scam written all over it.

4. Iceland, we wanted your
cash, not your ash.

5. Waiter, there's volcanic ash in my soup. I know,
it's a no-fly zone.

6. Richard Curtis is working on a new rom-com about
people stuck in an airport who fall in love. The working title is "Lava,
Actually."

7. I came out my house yesterday and was hit on the head by a
bag of frozen sausages, a chocolate gateau, and some fish fingers. I realised it
must be the fallout from Iceland.

8. Volcano in Iceland. What next,
Earthquake in Asda?

9. What's the capital of Iceland? 25 cents.

 

10. Actually, it's a bit early for Iceland volcano jokes. We should
wait awhile for the dust to settle.